DadTalk

Dreams from my Father

Biological fatherhood is in many senses, of less consequence than social fatherhood when influencing kids’ lives during their socialization years. A father figure matters to children’s educational, emotional and social development, and there is plenty of evidence to support this assertion.

In his autobiographical memoir, Dreams from My Father, aspiring US president Barack Obama engages

in a physical and metaphoric journey into matters of race, identity and fatherhood. He travels half way across the world to Africa as a young man, following his father’s life, trying to fill gaps left by his absence while growing up. In doing so, he achieves a better understanding of his own existence within the world he lives in. The book’s theme leaves no doubt that father’s matter a lot to their sons and daughters.

Dads matter to their children’s educational, emotional and social development, and there is plenty of irrefutable evidence from research, to support this assertion. Fathers do not only pass on their genes to their children. As a matter of fact, biological fatherhood is in many senses, of less consequence than social fatherhood. Stepfathers and adoptive fathers are as important as natural fathers, especially where the latter are absent in their children’s lives. Whereas certain traits are inherited from a child’s parents, fathers play their most crucial role in their kids’ lives during their socialization, that is, the long process of becoming social beings of worth to the immediate community and the larger society.

Dads contribute immensely in bringing up healthy, emotionally stable and productive citizens. They play an important role in increasing their children’s knowledge, academic achievement, and in understanding the world, as well as gaining control over social behaviour. Psychologically, both male and female children derive emotional strength and direction from a father figure; all children feel good when their dads are proud of them and show an interest in what they are doing.

Dads are very important in providing moral guidance, and instilling discipline and respect into their children’s lives. Yet fatherhood is not easy in these modern times due to many structural causes that militate against conventional fatherhood. These include the breakdown of traditional marriage and family life, changed community values and thinned social networks. Therefore other players at community and institutional levels are necessary in nurturing fatherhood for the good of all.

• The acceptance of young fathers by their children’s mother and even grandparents for example, pushes the young father towards accepting and embracing his paternal role.
• Institutional support for fatherhood is also important, for example the parental leave system which allows fathers to spend more time with their young children, to be close to their partners during pregnancy and birth, and providing modern relevant education in fatherhood.
• The schooling process is another important site of engagement between children and dads. School programmes can help overcome fathers’ traditional reluctance to get involved in what some see as female-dominated’ school life, and encourage their active involvement in their children’s learning by building positive attitudes amongst teaching staff.
• Community centres and organizations such as LYLA, Family Matters and family professionals such as teachers and health workers are also crucial in working with dads to nurture children into becoming responsible adults and future leaders.