DadTalk

A Father's Vision

This exercise is a must for all fathers; it will help you develop a vision for yourself and your family and plant seeds of success that will bear fruit in your future generations

A basic principle for a father should be “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children”. This is a very powerful image of a father not just planning for his children, but to plan for at least two generations. An inheritance is not just money and property, it’s also about values, conduct, and beliefs.

Developing a vision is a very conscious and proactive activity. Is it important - answer some of these questions:

• How many fathers have you known that have died and had no insurance, leaving the family with nothing?
• How many children have had the ability to go to university, but couldn’t because it wasn’t affordable?
• How many families have you seen drifting into patterns and lifestyles of mediocre?

The truth is if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Developing a vision for your family is not trying to define your children’s future. We’re not saying Jimmy is going to be a doctor and Gina a secretary. But you are saying that I’m going to lay foundations to ensure that I propel my family into a good and fruitful future. It is saying that I will lay the path for you to gain the qualifications you need. It is saying that I have great expectations for those who I have responsibility for and I will leave them something. You can think of your plan as the bow and your children as arrow. Aim in a direction and fire them.

Get away from everybody and find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Maybe go for a walk, or a drive, or just sit in your favourite spot.

You then close your eyes and ask yourself, what do I see for my family in 20 years time? You visualise a picture, think about how your children look, behave. What about your grandchildren? Are they happy, are they in great relationships? Did they enjoy their education and love learning? Do they have the house that you were able to pay the deposit on. Do they have a generous spirit and a positive outlook on life? Do they add value to the lives of those around them? Do they live in the UK or somewhere in beautiful sunshine?

The next thing you do is to write down what you’ve seen. Write, and write some more. Go back, look at it, read it again, change what you need to. Do not limit your vision. Don’t say this can’t happen. The minute you do, you are condemning your vision for your family to failure.

Then you have to answer some pivotal questions that will be crucial to the vision becoming reality:

• What do I have to do to make this vision manifest?

• What do I have to stop doing? e.g. speaking negatively to myself or my children, wasting money on the unnecessary, always saying Yes when I know I can’t. This is probably the hardest bit, breaking bad habits.

• What do I have to start doing? e.g. recognising the impact of my behaviour on my family, being more visible, letting my family know what I stand for, understanding the principles of wealth generation, doing activities as a family, family meetings.

• Who do I need to support me in this vision? e.g. my partner and children must see what I see, I need to get a financial advisor.

• How do I map out this plan? e.g. what are the milestones working backward, by 2010, we must have an investment plan for Ebony to go to university, by 2014 my children must have travelled to 3 continents and done some form of voluntary work.

As with any great institution, you must take counsel and who better than the ones who will be part of the vision. Have debate and discussion about why you’re setting out a plan, let them know it’s not about defining who they are, but ensuring that as a father, you provide them with solid platform for a great life. Ask them about timescales and the tasks.

If a vision and plan are going to work, you have to constantly refer to it. Don’t bring it out once a year, you will have missed loads of stuff and then the task becomes half hearted at best. Have monthly meetings to discuss what progress has been made. Why didn’t we achieve that goal this month? How are we going to get back on target?

As with a vision, you will not see the benefits of this planning for years to come, but this is one of the most important things you can do to propel your children into a great future. In years to come hopefully you will be able to quietly smile to yourself as you see the fruits of your planning and labour.