DadTalk

A slice of real parenting

In continuing the theme of real parenting thought I’d relate a recent incident.

We had all just had a lovely day trip. We had visited Luna Park, a wonderful retro fun-fair in the shadow of Sydney Harbour Bridge and then cooled off in an equally wonderful retro swimming pool right next door. It was great to splash about with the iconic views of Sydney Harbour behind us (and directly above us in the case of the bridge).

It was a hot day and the kids had been good so we had promised them an ice cream. We had 10 minutes before the ferry back to the city. I thought I’d pop back to Luna Park and get the ice creams, to eat on the ferry. I get what I think is their order, three multi-coloured ice-creams. So I hurry off, leaving them in the shade of the ferry terminal.

Now when I say it was hot, it was actually a Sydney heat wave, about 38C. Firstly the girl hands me three ice creams and then expects me to be able to somehow get into my wallet – which is annoying. After eventually paying I hurry back. The ice cream is now melting and dribbling down my hands and making a nice multi-coloured splattering pattern on my arms, t-shirt, legs and shorts.

Did I mention I’m not good in the heat?

I’m now getting flushed as hurry back to the ferry. I get to the top of the jetty. The youngest sees the ice creams and immediate bursts into tears, wailing “I wanted an ice-lolly!!”

The six year old announces “I didn’t want that one, they’re disgusting; I’m not going to eat it”.

I stand there, sweating, ice cream running down my arms and legs, with about 30 Sydney ferry commuters pretending not to stare at us. As the children sob at the perceived wretchedness of the ice creams offered, I am inches from just lobbing the cones over the side and into the harbour.

Then Victoria says something helpful like “I said we should have bought them at the other side”.

It is perhaps best if I finish this story here. However can I suggest a small competition for the most horrendous parenting experience in the most iconic / idyllic setting. The prize could be a partially melted ice cream.