Strengthening our Society

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Excerpts from a speech given by David Cameron for Relate last week:

"The number one challenge we've got in this country today is to strengthen our society. There is no more important way of doing that than strengthening families, and there's nothing more important to families than the strength of their relationships. That's why I am so delighted to be giving this year's lecture for Relate."

Now I know there are some who think politics should stay out of issues like relationships, and stick to apparently more gritty topics like schools, the NHS and budget deficits. I just think that's incredibly superficial and shortsighted. Our efforts to get schools right are undermined if families are going wrong. We can ease the burden on the NHS if we act on the evidence that people in strong and happy relationships are healthier. And helping people maintain strong relationships is not some fluffy alternative to reducing budget deficits - it is the way to reduce budget deficits, by reducing the demands on the state caused by family breakdown.

But quite apart from these serious political arguments, there is the personal argument, as I can certainly testify from my life. Nothing gives us greater happiness, security, comfort and hope for the future - or can cause us greater anxiety - than our families and relationships. So for me, families and relationships are not a secondary issue, they are an absolute political priority.

I recognise the perception some people have about our attitude to families. They think that we think it's all about money. That tax breaks for marriage and ending the couple penalty in the benefits system is all it takes to stop family breakdown. That is absolutely not what I'm saying. People haven't understood the scale and depth of the family-friendly reform we want to bring about in this country - not just economic but political, social, cultural too. So yes, that does include getting family finance right. But it also includes giving families more time to spend together. Giving families the help and support they need when the pressure is at its greatest. Helping to ensure affordable childcare. Taking on the unrelenting commercial influences on childhood. And, as Relate so clearly demonstrates, it includes understanding the vital importance of the emotional aspects of relationships and family life. Let me take each of these in turn.

But I don't think you can be serious about family policy unless you understand the importance of helping people deal with the emotional, as well as the practical aspects of family life. This isn't comfortable territory for politicians. Our relationships break down and fail just like other people's, arguably more so. And this goes to the heart of people's personal lives - and some might say the best thing politicians can do is 'keep their noses out.'

But I think that's a bit of a cop-out. Politicians are the ones who take taxpayers' money and write billions of pounds worth of cheques to deal with the costs of family breakdown whether that's social costs like crime and anti-social behaviour, or legal costs like the family courts and CAFCASS. So I think politicians have a responsibility - to the taxpayer and to society - to do what we can to bring these costs down.

Relationship support, delivered in the right way to the right people at the right time, can play a major part in doing just that. Think about it like this: the costs of social breakdown have been estimated at £20 billion, yet the annual budget of Relate - the organisation that does so much to stop the breakdown happening in the first place - is only £24 million. Doesn't that demonstrate how our priorities are wrong and how vital this difficult subject really is? So the right question is not whether politics is involved, but how.

There's a quote from a few years back that neatly captures the challenges in this area. It's from Wade Horn, US Assistant Secretary of State for Health and Human Services.

He said: 'The biggest problem in the area of marriage and divorce is the broad cultural belief that success or failure in marriage is a matter of luck. The second problem is that when faced with a troubled marriage, people believe you have only two options: get divorced or stay and be miserable.'

The reason I'm in politics - and the reason why people work for organisations like Relate - is that we believe - we know, that families, given the right support, at the right time, can make their own luck and transform their own fortunes.

There's no magic wand or silver bullet. We've got to change our tax and benefit system, so commitment is rewarded. We've got to tackle the long-term causes of poverty, so every child gets the best start in life. We've got to change the way we work, so families get to spend more time together. We've got to make sure that each family gets the support it needs when the pressure is greatest. We've got to improve childcare so it's there to support the choices parents make. We've got to demand that big business becomes every parent's ally, not the enemy. And we've got to ensure that every family has access to the emotional support and help they need - in the relationship and after separation, should it be necessary.”

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