The Xylophone Wars
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- Category: Blog Tuesday - Mrunal
This week’s blog is brought to you by “Daddy” Adie our intrepid war reporter who witnessed distressing scenes of carnage yesterday as tension between the Arun and Meri factions of the Sisodia family broke out into open hostilities.
The incident occurred in the disputed area known locally as “the Lounge” where members of the opposing factions had been enjoying an uneasy truce. The ceasefire has been in place for several days and holding and both Arun and Meri were playing with building blocks when the trouble started. Local engineer, Isambard Kingdom “Daddy” who was supervising the session said,” It was going really well. We had the building blocks out and I had just built a magnificent tower, ten blocks high that Arun had just knocked down gleefully. Then Meri just seemed to lose interest and wandered off to another part of the Lounge.”
This is when the trouble really started. I spoke to local musician, “Daddy” Hendrix who told me, “Well man, I started playing with the Xylophone hoping that this would capture Meri’s attention but she just pushed it away. Arun, however, got really interested and came over. He picked up the xylophone and started trying to play it. Dude, when Meri saw this she just lost it. She came over and tried to snatch the Xylophone from Arun. Really uncool. It was a really bad scene and I just got the hell out of there.”
The United Nations quickly became involved and attempted to negotiate a peaceful resolution to the dispute. UN Secretary General Ban Ki “Daddy” released the following statement. “Our negotiators entered the area shortly after being alerted. We entered a tense situation that was deteriorating rapidly. Both parties had gotten hold of the Xylophone and were pulling it and pushing each other. There was wailing and screaming from both Arun and Meri as they fought over the toy. We intervened and tried to implement a timeshare arrangement whereby Meri would have a turn and then Arun would have a turn. Initially this worked out well. Arun watched as Meri had her turn but when it came to be Arun’s turn, Meri grabbed the stick and tried to start hitting the xylophone as Arun was holding it.”
The situation escalated quickly and the UN peacekeepers were rapidly withdrawn. NATO forces were called in and NATO combined forces commander General Petraeus “Daddy” picks up the story, “Our delta forces entered the combat zone at 1500 hours. By this stage the situation was way out of control. It was like Mogadishu in ‘93. We just got in there, separated the two factions and retrieved the disputed object.”
The event has been referred the war crimes court in the Hague. Earlier today I spoke to Lord Justice “Daddy” who heard the trial. “As ever, in war there are no winners and lots of losers. I determined that the xylophone should be confiscated until the two factions learn how to share and play nicely.”
This has been a sorry day for the Sisodia clan. Hopes of a detente and lasting peace have been shattered. The two parties at the centre of the incident have not released any comment but earlier today Arun and Meri seemed unrepentant and oblivious to the long term consequences of their actions as they happily played tickle chase in the garden.
