Sons
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- Category: Blog Tuesday - Mrunal
Bill Glass tells the following story from his experience working with boys in juvenile prison :
On the day before Father's Day, I was in North Carolina in a juvenile prison. I ate lunch with three boys.
I asked the first boy, "Is your dad coming to see you tomorrow on Father's Day?"
He said, "No, he's not coming."
"Why not?"
"He's in prison."
I asked the second boy the same question and got the same answer.
I asked the third one why his dad wasn't coming, and he said, "He got out of prison about nine months ago, and he's doing good, and I'm proud of my father. He's really going to be a good dad to me, and he's going to go straight."
I could tell he was protesting so strongly because something was still wrong. So I said, "How many times has he been here to see you since he got out nine months ago?"
He said, "He hasn't made it yet."
"Why not?"
"Well, he lives way, way away."
"Where does he live?"
"He lives in Durham."
Durham was only two hours away. I had come 1,500 miles to visit the boy. His dad couldn't come two hours? There are a lot of fathers who are really deserters.
Bill’s conclusion is startling “The FBI studied the 17 kids that have shot their classmates. All 17 shooters had only one thing in common. They had a father problem. There's something about it when a man doesn't get along with his father. It makes him mean; it makes him dangerous; it makes him angry.
I adapted these words from ‘a daughter needs a dad…’ and it was interesting to think about what I felt was the difference between the two. Both sons and daughters need their fathers, for some similar and some different reasons.
A son needs a dad…
- To show him that love is not just for girls and to be a man means to learn how to love in a way that only men can love
- To teach him that his value as a person is more than what he can do or who he can beat
- To teach him that while he must work to provide for his family, family is more important than work
- To show him that women are amazing, exciting, different and needed in his world
- To be the safe ear he can always turn to and to show him that the best way to deal with a problem is not on his own but in community with others
- To teach him that a woman’s beauty is both on the outside and the inside, but the inside is more important
- To be someone to aspire to be whilst remaining free to be himself
- To help him take risks that will build his confidence and to learn how to encourage those around him to be the best that they can be
- To hold him when he cries and teach him that big boys do cry and that true men are both strong and emotional
- To teach him that he is important by stopping to watch him
