Exploders
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- Category: Blog Tuesday - Mrunal
Anger. It's a powerful force in the world. All of us learn how to handle it, but not always the right way. I heard a true story once of a woman who bought a pedigree dog from a breeder. A year or so later the dog died and the woman went round to the breeders house to demand a refund or a new dog. As so much could have happened in a year, the breeder rightly refused, at which point the woman forced her way into his house to take a dog for herself. The breeder held his ground, not allowing the woman any further into his home. At which point she took her dead dog and began to beat the man over the head with it. After a struggle the breeder managed to get the woman out of his house and shut the door. The woman drove off down the road shouting and cursing and waving the dead dog out of the window.
So goes the first type of bad anger management - the EXPLODER. Exploders are peaceful for a period, sometimes for days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months. Then something happens. A child is running late for school, a room is left untidy, a disrespectful word is said. Discipline is needed but BOOM - days, weeks or months of pent up aggression is unleashed on the unsuspecting victim. Typically it's also the anger that isn't even associated with the person 'exploded on'. Interestingly the exploder often feels much better. The pressure cooker of their emotions is now vented and frequently they are quick to apologise, quick to move on. The result for those around them is unfortunately not so easily handled. Friends and family of exploders tend to inwardly take a step back. Can they be trusted again? Norman Ollestad, author of crazy for the storm and real life lone survivor of a plane crash in the mountains, tells about his relationship with his step father, Nick,
"Nick was my biggest fan, cheering from the stands at my games where he filmed every single minute. It felt good to impress him and I wish we always got on so well. But I never knew when Nick was going to explode again, and a part of me was always braced for it, and it made it hard to trust those sweet moments"
The price of being an exploder is a high one. Usually spouses and children are afraid of them and there is an unseen barrier to intimacy that the exploder rarely wants.
How about you, dad? Is it time to learn a new way of handling your anger?
