DadTalk

Special

Recently my wife took my youngest son out for a coffee to get some special time. Being three years old it was a real treat to go to a proper coffee shop and have a date with mum. She bought herself a coffee and him a ‘bambino-chino’ - a cup of frothy milk topped with chocolate sprinkles and served in a tiny but proper coffee cup.

Ethan sat himself down and took a big drink. Then with milk all around his lips he gave a big sigh and declared ‘Lovely coffee, mum. Lovely company’. Where he got the phrase from we have no idea.

There’s something key that we’ve learned as parents - it’s that each of our children need special time with us both. Each one needs the focus time but they also all need different things. Our oldest daughter desperately wanted a younger sister and was devastated when our youngest turned out to be a boy. But now she says that she’s pleased to be the only girl ‘because I get special girl time with mum’ Every month or so I try to take all three of them out on their own for daddy-time and you can see the connection tanks filling up. Our daughter likes to go to a nearby hotel and have a hot chocolate and play card games. My middle son likes to go to the climbing wall and then out for an ice-cream. Our youngest more often than not likes to stay at home and do jigsaws but he also likes a trip to the park ‘just you and me dad’.

Making time for this special connection is a key role for us as dads. And it doesn’t have to take long. I often have to work in the evenings and so another evening just isn’t possible for me to work into the diary. Instead I try to come home a little early from work, have a quick dinner and then take them out so that they get to stay up a little later than their siblings but we can also fit it in before I have to head out to work again.

However it fits into our diaries, communicating that ‘you’re special’ takes words and time. But it’s so needed especially when we have more than one child.

Do you have plans for special time?