DadTalk

Grandfathers

I run a regular leadership development group that takes a group of ten to twelve and seeks to give them a foundation in leadership. During one session I always start with the same question. “Which relative was your favourite while you were growing up”. I’ve run this group around twelve times but one session particularly stands out. It was the time that more than half of the group said “Grandma” or “Grandpa”. There were stories of cookies and hugs and mending things and sports and hot chocolate and games and a safe place when home didn’t feel so. I’m sure it was a coincidence that they were all in the same group but clearly this bunch had an affectionate, thoughtful and kind set of grandparents who had changed and shaped their young lives forever. It was actually quite moving and it left me wondering how many of the grandparents represented actually knew the impact they had made. It seemed as though the little things, the kind gestures, the walks in the park, the stories at bedtime, the sleepovers and the baked cakes had made far more impact than one would credit them.

As for me, my maternal grandfather died before I was born. My paternal grandfather was an absentee figure. Although in good health all I remember is him sitting in front of the TV watching the cricket or football. Apparently he did this for nearly twenty years. I remember the only times he did get up I looked in awe at the two footmarks in the carpet left in front of his chair. He died when I was around 10 years old, sitting in the same spot. And that was that. A missed opportunity. A relationship never grasped. I wonder now who he was, what he was like and the stories he had to tell. The only things I know are snippets told by my dad.

So, grandfathers! Don’t underestimate the influence you hold over the young lives around you. Don’t belittle your contribution. Don’t forget that things that seem insignificant to you have great sway over young hearts. And don’t miss the opportunity.