Dadtalk

Lego helps you grieve

Last Monday turned out to be a milestone dad day for me.

Last Monday my father died, he was 81. His death wasn’t a surprise but it was all rather quick. It’s not the loss of a dad that has made me emotional this week as much as what I’ve got to know about him that I didn’t know before. It’s the things I’ve noticed about him from the paperwork he left for me and my sister to go through. It’s the stories his brothers have told me. It’s the re-connections I’ve made with my childhood.

My dad was born in South Kensington in 1929, the third of 7 kids. His Dad was a shop keeper and his mum obviously had her hands full with the brood! Although the third born he was the eldest son and always had a sense of responsibility that came with that honour. My first ever memory is of my dad.

I have found myself somewhat overwhelmed with all that I’ve learnt this week, the gaps that have been filled and the man behind the father that I have discovered. Over the last 7 days I have come to realise that there was lots I didn’t know, and in fact, we shared a lot in common.

The day after he died Jasper and I had had some dad and son time, we built his new Lego set, Emperor Palpatine’s Shuttle, which to be honest was a bit of light relief. Going through the instructions together, finding the pieces, re-doing it from the beginning because we made a vital mistake, for a few hours we were lost in the Lego and all was good.

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the number of times I did stuff with my dad and the memories those carry. I want Jasper and Harvey to have loads of dad and son memories so here’s to many more hours searching for 2x4 bricks.