Dadtalk

I do, I am, I'm trying

This Thursday the 4^th I celebrate love, laughter, tears both joyous and sad, falling outs, making ups, good choices, bad choices, lies, truths, failures, successes, words spoken, things unsaid, births, deaths, various acts of kindness and moments of selfishness that have made up the ten years of my marriage.

The last ten years have been amazing and hard work all wrapped up together, but I wouldn’t want to change a thing because the journey has shaped us, shaped our relationship, our communication, the type of people we are and the type of parents we are too.

I’m no marriage guru but here are the top 5 things I’ve learnt over the last ten years:

1. We speak different languages when it comes to expressing love for one another and if I try to show her I love her through the ways I receive love then we are on a road to nowhere.

2. My wife likes to unpack her deepest emotional stuff after I’ve got into bed, so I always need to keep enough energy in the battery cells at the end of the day, just in case.

3. Sex doesn’t make a healthy marriage; communication does. Enough said!

4. Love is a verb! It’s all about actions, so small monthly tokens of affection, or a hug when I get home each day and prioritising a weekly date night are the most important actions I can take.

5. I was a husband before I was a dad, and if I want to be a husband long after the kids have flown the nest I need to remember that!

It was around 3pm in the afternoon in a cold barn in Devon in 2000 that I said “I Do,” but every waking second of every day that’s followed, I have had to follow that up with actions and a heart that continues to say “I Am, and I’m Trying.”