Dadtalk

Have you ever felt excluded or pushed out when trying to access family/parenting advice or services because you aren't the mother? Share your experiences here.

Check out the DadTalk news item Ignored by the midwife
And the article Both Parents Matter

i no iv,e been excluded as a father by most of the medical people because my ex is the main carer to my profoundly special needs son of sixteen years old , and most other goverment bodys are more prejudice against fathers especially the child support people. I care for my disabled son and payed up all my csa . ive cared for my son 55 hours a week and yet my ex drives around in a brand new volvo on motobility and get cares allowence disability living allowence and many other types of help ,free holidays washing machines etc etc. He is just a golden goose for her. i can,t even get a hoist to move or lift my son and ive cared for him for seven years , and yet my ex is out every night so my daughters tell me , were is the justice in that. im nearly sixty ,so trying to carry a young man of sixteen will make me or break me . Its not the financial benifits it just knowing my son is being properly love and cared for. after my 55 hours i care for him, the rest of the week he would be at school or away at respite ,and the only time my ex should care for him is in the summer hols but she dumps her load on my daughters or somebody else so she can go out to enjoy spending his money. equal rights some joke. I have given her a chance to care for him so going to court is the only option, that if i can get legal aid. but i have be cut short at every attempt.

you are right there, to an extent, pablo.
Always felt that all services are fully geared to the mother (she is the one having the baby....but...) but not particularly geared to the father. Most if not all of the message boards are weighted towards the mother with a tiny little section for dads. At least here although a lot of the issues for mother and father are generic, the father's view on the issues comes from a different perspective. I am glad for dadtalk

hi,ive just recently become a dad for the 1st time,im not wiv the mother,she dumped me because she didnt love me,but i love her still and my daughter loads,ive had loads of accesss,but noe shes starting to get funny about it,coz we aint together she says we shudnt see each other,but im gud wiv that i just want to see my young 1 wiv out the mum,shes breastfeeding so i only get her for like 3-4 hrs at ago then have to rush back for a feed,i work long hours say up to 16hrs a day peak season coz im a farmer,so i like to see her wen im not at work,but all i get is "tuff ur not seeing her",she wont let me bottle feed,but the mum starts uni in oct so shes guna av to give on that,am i being un reasonable for wanting to see my child wen i can? cheers simon

Butchy69 - i think its great you work so hard to see your little'n. My understanding though its best to agree you get regular times each week with her is as a routine.... that way everyone knows what to expect (including ur daughter as she grows up)... I guess in your job it's busier over harvest and so it has to be flexible but at least that way you know what to expect... Whatever happens thou' don't give up - you are so important to her - Dads make a huge contribution to the lives of their children.... Ron