Dadtalk

Hi

I'm taking my ex-wife to court as she has applied for a residence for the kids,age's7,12,13 anyways we have been seraprated for the past few years and shes only doing this because she is seeing a new guy for over six months, anyways i do see my kids on the weekends but i later found out my ex-wife had porn dvds and a few sex toys which the kids came accross but she states those thing were hidden and the kids shouldn't been in her bedroom looking , now i'm wanting the kids to live with me and i also applied for a define contact order but my question is will the court rule in my favour even the kids say they want too ? I do work full time and can work around the kids.

Terry

I'm not a legal expert, but I have been through custody procedures myself. As I understand it, the court has to have a good reason to remove the children from their current home, so you would have to show that there was some physical or emotional harm to your children. The courts will take into account your children's feelings, depending on their ages, and CAFCASS would almost certainly be involved, so their report would certainly add weight to the court's consideration.

Hi

In other words it would be best just to go for define contact then ?


actd wrote:

My understanding / experience also is the same as Actd.. I've asked the guys at the Children's Legal Centre to respond too - might be a few days. Sounds like agreeing contact is key..

It might be a little down the road but we have some articles on Cafcass which might be helpful http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/cafcass.php

\ Buzz

If you can agree contact, it is always going to be the easier and cheaper option - and a little give-and-take is worth while as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

If you have to go down the route of legal proceedings, then it will alway create antagonism - sometimes though, there is no alternative.

The Children Act (section states that a residence order is just that - defining the child's place of residence. If the children already live with her, then nothing will change. If you currently have parental responsibility then you will continue to have a right to be in your children's lives daily, talk to and have reports from their school, etc. You will have access to their gp's records and you will have to be told about major things (like if your children start to attend counselling, etc).

If you don't have parental responsibility, then you are no further ahead at the minute anyways. A residence order has some restrictions on the resident parent that they don't have otherwise. Like your ex can't change your child's name without your consent (as long as you have PR), nor can she have them known by any other name (like at school). Also, she cannot take them out of the jurisdiction for longer than a month without your consent (again if you have PR).

Actd is right about changing residence - the Court will only do that under exceptional circumstances and if there is a question about residency then Cafcass will become involved, and Cafcass everywhere are having difficulties, as I've read in the Guardian and The Times recently, with backlogs.