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This has been ongoing since before my son was born (he is now 3). My ex-girlfriend and i lived together for a very short time, she got pregnant which was planned and within a few weeks i was kicked out. Immediatly she was denying i was the father, i got a solicitor straight away,and it took a long time to prove paternity over a year. She then started accusing me of allsorts 1st off being a druggie then abusing her, of which neither is true. I got a contact order and she made things difficult as possible i.e supervised contact with her parents supervising. It also got sent to mediation which only i attended, then CAFCASS got involved i got observed and they were happy with how we got on and his care. My ex also stopped contact saying because of his health problems asthma,appointments were made for prctice nurse , in total 5 or 6 some made by her, under instructions of court and some by me in the end, as they then give me parental responsibility. They kept getting cancelled by her due to allegation i.e i went to collect him and got accused of threating behavier with a knife, had police visit nothing further happened. eventually i so health visiter and got the contact order with steps for improvments. 2 weeks ago i last so him from 12 saturday til 12 sunday one week then 4 hours next, which i was very happy about. the i recieved a call from her saying social service had been called due to bruising etc... all lies.i followed court order went to collect,told i should have been told it was cancelled asked for social worker number etc refused, finally i managed to get intouch with them and they said yes there had been two complaints, 1 six weeks previous, but they and the police had decided they didnt need to contact me as they werent taking any actions, i am now waiting to go back to court with legal aid and i am going to be asking for residence i believe she has some sort of mental problems and its basically mentally going to be abusing my son, i have a house with his own room and also my girlfriend has two girls of four that live with me. any help or view would be appreciated. in this case is residence a possible outcome?

many thanks in advance!!

HI Andy-Brown14

We will ask a couple of our experts to have a look at your post and see if they can make some comments that might help you. It make take a few days for them to get the information they need.

Dear Andy,

Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.

As a parent you have the right to make any applications regarding your child that you feel are necessary.

If you wish to make an application for Residence then you are within your rights to do so. The court will consider all the circumstances and will make a decision based on what they believe to be in the best interests of the child.

Generally there does have to be very good reason to remove a child from the residence which they are used to living in and you would have to convince the court that your child best interests would be better served by living with you.

You also have the option of applying to enforce the contact order that is in place. To do this it is advisable to read the guidance on this matter which is available from www.hmcs.gov.uk . The form you require is CB5.

How to apply for enforcement and how this is dealt with will depend on when your contact order was put into place as these orders changed in December 2008, but this should all be explained in the above mentioned form.

The way in which you proceed is for you to decide, as a parent you can apply for any application regarding your child and if you feel that your child will be better living with you then you can apply for this.

The courts main concern will be the best interests of the child and they will grant or refuse any orders according to how they view this.

You are able to make any orders regarding your child with or without a solicitor. If you wish to use a solicitor you can find solicitor’s in your local area using the ‘Find a Solicitor’ tool on the Law Society website.

If you wish to represent yourself you can download the relevant forms from www.hmcs.gov.uk .

We hope this information is useful to you. Should you require further advice or assistance, please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008, and an advisor will be happy to help you.

Kind Regards

Children’s Legal Centre

Thank you for your advice and help, i have proceeded with going for my normal contact to no avail(5weeks running). Waiting to hear from the legal aid commisions and will basically have the applications ready to go. Again many thank

This is yet another case of the vindictive parent with care being obstructive to the non-residential parent. No doubt your ex does not want to discuss issues about contact and refuses to go to any sort of mediation. I also get the impression that your ex has not had to lift a finger much to account for her own actions.

I don't understand why only you had to go to mediation as I'd have thought it would be in the interest of both parents to understand that their actions effect children.

With all these allegations made against you, you indicate that they are all unsubstantiated which could be to your favour.

Your prime concern is the consideration to the welfare of your child. You indicate that your child has gone to see the doctors, it is their concern too to ensure what is in the best interest of the child also. They have an obligation to find out what the views are of the parents too to ascertain the child’s best interest. Go and arrange an appointment with the doctor if you haven’t done so already. Look at the General Medical Council Guidelines for 0-18.

I think that all non-residential parents who deal with vindictive Parents with care would consider them to have 'mental problems'. I know I consider my ex as having mental problems, but who hasn't. I’m off to see my youngest son’s (who is 9 years old and living with his mum) doctor as I wanted to see his medical records. His doctor wrote back saying that he did not want me to see them as it was the doctors opinion that he Gillick Competent. A telephone call from the doctor (after making a complaint) revealed that he has sleeping problems. I’m hoping that my meeting with the doctor will highlight why my son has emotional problems, and I think that is due solely to the acrimonious relationship that me and my ex have. My ex completely denies any wrong doing of course. I’m also hoping that the doctor will agree that there are ‘family’ problems that can only be resolved through counselling.

Do you keep a diary? If not, I thoroughly recommend you keep one. I'd ensure that your contact with your ex is as amicable as possible so that she has no excuse what so ever, but that goes without saying for non-residential parents who give a damn.

Prepare your case to why you want residency of your son. Your son is only 3 and unless you have a substantial case for physical harm I think it may be difficult for you. Emotional harm is much harder to convince a judge that it would be better to remove a 3 year old son away from their mother to hand over to the father. But I think that is generally the case, that Judges are reluctant to remove the child from the parent.

I suggest that you look up Families need Fathers and attend one of their local meetings. The group that I've been to have solicitors and barristers present, they help those who are going to court in preparing the forms, writing letters and in some instances provide a McKenzie Friend to be with you (who tend to be quite knowledgeable).

Hope this helps, never give up though.

You can find some info on Families Need Fathers in Dadtalk's directory of services see:
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/directory_of_s ... %20fathers

I've copied the contact details out here, but do check the directory out as there are loads of great services out there to support fathers..

Families Need Fathers
Website for non-resident fathers
Website: www.fnf.org.uk
Phone: National Helpline 08707 607496
Opening hours: Mon to Fri 6pm-10pm

Hope this is all helpful - please let us know.

Buzz