DadTalk

Hi all,

New here.


Have a 13 year old daugther that has gotten in with the wrong crowed. She's not involved with drugs yet, but knowing the crowd she is hanging out with, and the parents of some of those kids, it's only a matter of time. I've been looking to start the whole drugs discussion, but doing it in a relaxed kind of way. To that end, what I have done is buy a book called 'Dying to Survive' which is the story of an Irish woman who got addicted to heroin at 14 years old, and nearly lost her life because of it. She also nearly lost her arms before that, because she had been injecting so much drugs into her arm.


What' good about the book is that its got a really grizzly picture of the lady (Rachel Keogh is her name actually) and her arms before she turned her life around. The drugs had eaten away the flesh on her forearms. What I'm going to do is leave the book lying around and let it start a conversation. I'm reading it at the moment, and if I think it is suitable I might let her read it to. I think this approach is better than getting preachy about drugs, because some kids like to rebel for rebellings sake.

What I'd like to know is if there are any other books out there that someone could recommend. Or better still, any ideas of how to get her to stay away from drugs without giving her reason to 'rebel'.


Thanks in advance.

Best regards,
Anthony

Tough question dude.

My kids are far to young for this one yet. Have you thought about asking her school what teaching they get on drugs and what part of the sylabus it comes under and when it is to be covered?

You could ask the PTA or Governers Board if they would like some help on this issue and see if there are drug organisatations locally to you that would come in to her school and do a special assembly or class. School will have some sort of set up but often unless a or two parent are on the ball the schools don't give these kind of issue the time and spotlight they need.

I live in Bedford and used to work with roughsleepers and i know that one local drug agency used to take x-users in to classroom which would have been an eye opener! :shock:

The bigger question for you is what how you going to support your daughter get out of the wrong crowd?!?

HI DaddyX

Thanks for posting a really important topic that we need to address.

We will ask our experts to have look at this tread and make some comments that will hopefully be helpful.
Check out the drugs article that we have here http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/drugs.php .

Picking up on a few things that Freerunner said - you could indeed contact the school but we would suggest you do that in a broad sense ie ask them how they discuss topics like drugs, bulling and sex-ed within the curriculum and what organisations they sign post pupils to. This will make it less about drugs and your daughter. There are some good sites out there that offer information and advice ASK FRANK is a good one and is aimed specifically at teenagers so will be the site your daughter would use for information.

As well as leaving the book around why not have a family film night and watch a teen film where drugs are in the story line or watch a TV soap together, it won’t be long before some topic storylines crop up and conversation can flow!
In regards to addressing the bigger issue of your daughter’s new friends, it is worth thinking how you might like to support her here too.

Dadtalk realise that Dads have a unique part to play in their daughter’s lives and statistics show that dads who give time and energy to their daughters are rewarded with girls who are less likely to fall off the rails through drinking, drugs and teenage pregnancy.

Dads who give their daughter 1;2;1 time through activities like date nights (going to the cinema or even going out for meals) find that over time communication can be built and difficult topics can be discussed) Check out this article on why dads matter to daughters. Why not stop off on the way home and buy your daughter (and your partner) a small bunch of flowers. OK so you might get a funny look at first but tell them that you were thinking of them today and that you love them. This isn’t to embarrass your daughter but to make her feel special. If you do this often enough the funny awkward looks will fade away and a a really tight bond of openness will grow.

http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/why_d ... ghters.php

If you think that your daughters new female friends are less than desirable and that their family lives are a little dysfunctional why not open your home and family to them. In this way not only will your daughter learn from you but her friends will also get the benefit of a positive role model too.

Check out these articles on peer pressure and communication with teenagers and kids too.

http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/peer_pressure.php
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/commu ... nagers.php
http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/top_t ... r_kids.php

let us know how the book goes!

The best drugs talk I ever got was from a retired copper who came into our school, past around lots of pills etc. and said "I'm not going to tell you not to take drugs, I know you won't listen if your mind is made up"

We had to try and identify what all of the pills were, and at the end he revealed that some were drugs, some were innocent things like smarties and others were actually deadly cleaning tablets.

His concluding statement was that "I worked in the drug squad for 30 years. And even now I haven't a clue if something is a drug, or even what type of drug it is, until it is sent off for testing. So if you ARE going to take drugs, just consider... do you REALLY know what you're putting in your body".

It was powerful, purely because it wasn't a lecture, he didn't go on about how evil drugs were and how we shouldn't take them - the sort of thing a teenager would switch off on. It was reality - if you make the individual choice to buy something off a bloke in a pub it could be ecstasy. Or it could be paracetamol. Or worse, it could be a toxic chemical that will kill you. Your choice. Worked wonders.

hello. since drug is injerous to health. it is the duty of think tanks to find out the proper solution to tackle this problem

Chutzpah - cool story... wish our drugs talk was like that would have put me off... Really clever approach..