DadTalk

25% of families arguing more because of the recession

A quarter (25%) of families admit to arguing more because of the recession, new figures from Relate, the UK's largest provider of relationship counselling have revealed.

The YouGov survey commissioned by Relate also showed that men are twice as likely as women (nearly one in 10 compared to one in 20) to be concerned that money worries will cause them to break up with their partner. A further one in five (22%) of couples felt they were arguing more because of money worries.

Across the country 66% of Relate Centres have seen an increase in demand for their services as clients feel the impact on the recession.

One counsellor from Relate described: A family already in counselling have seen the main breadwinner lose his job. Lack of money is causing more family rows. The parents feel guilty they can't provide things that the children have always seen as normal, including - 'top-up for mobile phones, being able to go on school trips, etc'. The children haven't seen these things as luxuries before - and find it unnerving that things they considered normal part of life are being taken away.

Relate Relationship Counsellor, Denise Knowles, advises people who are concerned to:

• Remember there are things you can do straight away if you are experiencing money problems - talk about the reality of the situation. Acknowledge that your relationship is being squeezed by outside pressures and discuss how you can manage this as a couple. For example, you may need to make some life style choices and if your children are old enough explain the situation to them so they can understand. Also seek independent financial advice.
• Recognise that as a family and a couple you can have fun together without spending money doing things such as going for walks, or having special nights in - where you get dressed up as if you are going out but just stay-in and have simple meal together.
• Now is a really good time to build-up your 'emotional bank balance' by spending more time together. Perhaps instead of putting on the telly, play a board game together, or put some music on and chat. Think about thoughtful gestures - such as running a bath for your partner. These little things can help you feel closer.
• Also be really open with each other, this isn't the time to have financial secrets. Be honest so you can share the problems and talk them through.

Visit www.relate.org.uk or call 0300 100 1234 to find out more.