Dadtalk

Teenage Pregnancy

Teenage sex may be linked to issues of self-esteem, poor job prospects, pressure from friends and mixed messages about sex in society.

It is a complex issue to which we don’t have a complete answer but we do know some things...

"Teenage sex may be linked to issues of self-esteem, poor job prospects, pressure from friends and mixed messages about sex in society.” It is a complex issue to which we don’t have a complete answer but we do know these things:

“Many teenagers are not fully aware about contraception. They don't know where to get advice and services. They don't know whether it's legal to get the Pill when they're under 16. They don't know how to use condoms properly. They still believe myths such as 'You can't get pregnant the first time', or 'You won't get pregnant if you do it standing up'. They don't know how to say 'No'. They often regret losing their virginity and wish they'd waited." (Sexplanations Guide - Marie Stopes International)

Three quarters of teenage pregnancies are unplanned.

“Teenagers today are actually no more likely to get pregnant than teenagers in the 70s. They are however having sexual experiences younger." (Total Guide to You and Your Teenager Issue 1, W H Smith)

The consequences to the teenage mum are that she is likely to have no qualifications, a lower income than any other social group and she is three times more likely to suffer postnatal depression.

From 1999 UK Government's report, 'Teenage Pregnancy'

• The UK has Western Europe's highest teenage pregnancy rate.
• More than 90,000 teenagers get pregnant every year. Of those, 7,700 are under 16. 2,200 are under 14 years old.
• One third of under-16s are sexually active.
• The average age for loss of virginity today is 17.
• 19% of girls lose their virginity under the age of 16 compared to 1% in the 1950s.
• British teenagers don’t have more sex than European teenagers; they do however use less contraception. Half of those having sex under 16 use no contraception at all.
• Teenagers are at high risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. Just one act of unprotected sex (no condom) with a carrier of gonorrhoea has a 50% chance of transmission. Exposure to genital herpes has a 30% rate, and HIV 1%.
• The sexually transmitted infection Chlamydia affects teenage girls more than any other age group and its rate is shooting up dramatically. It often has no symptoms but is the biggest cause of ectopic pregnancy and can lead to infertility if left untreated.
• 39% of those in the UK with AIDS are in their 20s - the majority will have contracted HIV as teenagers.
• 15,000 under-18s have an abortion every year.

"Despite the fact that no clinical trials have been conducted with girls under 16, the Morning After Pill (MAP) has been licensed without an age limit. During 1999 it was prescribed to girls under the age of 16 on 23,100 occasions in family planning clinics in England alone. This figure does not include girls who received treatment from a GP or hospital A and E department."

(Family Education Trust: Facing the Facts)

If the opportunity arises, try to suggest that in the context of a loving, stable relationship sex can be a great thing, a positive experience, something to cherish. (Note: no need to go into graphic details!) A healthy reaction is that teenagers will be appalled at the idea of ‘parents’ enjoying sex but it may sink in for future reference.

Talk about sex in everyday situations, doing the washing-up, cleaning the car, link in to current news stories - ask open questions that require more than a yes or no response - ask for their feelings as well as their thoughts. It's never too early, or too late to start talking about sex with a child. Keep the chat light and friendly to avoid everyone getting embarrassed.

Discuss contraception with your child. Do they know what it is, how it works and how to obtain it? Do they realise that contraception can and does fail.

Be honest about your own struggles or any mistakes you made when you were a teenager exploring sex and relationships for the first time. Offer to share your own moral values and standards but do it in a sensitive and non-judgmental way.

Studies have shown that many teenagers regret their first sexual experience, and wish they had waited longer. You can help both daughters and sons by telling them that it's OK to say 'No' to sex, and that there's no rush to lose your virginity - even if all your friends have 'done it'. Many first sexual experiences occur under the influence of alcohol, or drugs, which can make young people particularly vulnerable, and less likely to use contraception.

Does your child know how to say "No" - explore together circumstances where they might feel pressurised - rehearse how they could 'walk away with dignity' if they chose not to engage in sexual intercourse. Talk about abstinence - is it an option worth considering?

Talk "Double Dutch!" Girls who plan to take the contraceptive pill still need to insist that their partner use a condom to protect against sexually transmitted infections. Both sexes need to be made aware of sexual responsibility.

Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes. Communicating with your children about sex, love, and relationships is often more successful when you are certain in your own mind about these issues. Think about your response to the following kind of questions:

• What do you really think about school-aged teenagers being sexually active - perhaps even becoming parents?
• Who is responsible for setting sexual limits in a relationship and how is that done?
• What do you think about encouraging teenagers to abstain from sex?
• What do you think about teenagers using contraception?

If you can't get a dialogue going, at least provide leaflets or books on sex education and contraception. Check with your child’s school to see what information it is providing.