DadTalk

Children lashing out at parents to get own way

Children are becoming increasingly violent towards their parents when they do not get their own way, a leading psychologist has warned.

Children are becoming increasingly violent towards their parents when they do not get their own way, a leading psychologist has warned.

The ‘little emperors’ of this ‘spoilt generation’ lash out both at home – particularly at mothers who stand in their way – and school or even nursery.

Experts have blamed the decline in respect for authority on a lack of clear parental boundaries and rules, as well as an emphasis on children’s rights.

The problem is getting worse and spans the class divide, according to Dr Aric Sigman, a fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine.

He said the age at which children were violent and disrespectful towards their teachers 'is coming down to nursery level'.

He added: 'They’re swearing and throwing chairs at their teachers at younger and younger ages. It isn’t surprising this is happening in a domestic setting.

'Parent abuse and parent battery appear to be on the rise and what seems to underlie this is to do with parenting, the lack of boundaries and the reversal of authority.

'It’s the extreme end of the spoilt generation where they actually lash out at parents, almost exclusively their mothers. There’s a lack of impulse control, demands for instant gratification and not accepting deferred gratification.

They’ll beat up their mothers if they don’t get what they want now. It’s a beastly combination of a sense of entitlement and a lack of respect for one’s mother.'

Dr Sigman analysed academic studies, psychologists’ observations and police reports in Britain, America and New Zealand to update his book on the subject, The Spoilt Generation.

Analysis: Dr Sigman looked at academic studies, psychologists' observations and police reports in Britain, America and New Zealand to update his book

He said: 'There’s been a change, it’s getting worse and it’s going further down the age scale.

'I’m talking about younger and younger children, including girls, beating up their mothers and kicking them down the stairs. Mothers are ashamed to ask for help.

'You can’t just throw your ten-year-old out of the house because she slaps you around. It’s a very dark area that isn’t being addressed.'

One of the studies, from Brigham Young University, Utah, published in the American Association of Behavioural and Social Sciences Journal, found 82 per cent of parental abuse is against mothers.

It estimated that 11 per cent of children under ten physically abuse their parents. Researchers warned that 'parental permissiveness is shown to be a significant factor in parental abuse'.

Meanwhile, Government figures show that 15 children aged between four and six are being excluded from school each day for attacking teachers in England.

Statistics for the academic year 2008/9, the most recent available, revealed that 7,620 children from reception, year one and year two were given fixed-term exclusions.

The largest single reason was for attacking an adult. The number of cases – 2,890 – marked an increase of 19 per cent in just two years.

Dr William Shanahan, executive medical director at the Capio Nightingale Hospital in London, helps parents who have lost control and inadvertently 'facilitated' their children’s bad behaviour by indulging them too much.

He said: 'We are looking at a generation of children who are not getting simple ground rules, where boundaries are put in place.

Read more about this at the Mail Online website.