DadTalk

For happy children

Couples who want to raise happy and successful children should spend less time striving to be perfect parents and instead try to be perfect spouses.

Couples who want to raise happy and successful children should spend less time striving to be perfect parents - and instead try to be perfect spouses.

Family therapist David Code has claimed that children become demanding and dissatisfied if parents obsess over all aspects of their lives. He argues that the 'greatest gift' you can give a child is to set them an example with a healthy, happy marriage.

The ideas in his book To Raise Happy Kids Put Your Marriage First, are the latest salvo in a fiery debate over child-rearing. The TV and radio presenter Kirsty Young recently said the 'cult' of pushy parenting 'sickened' her and was the 'modern disease'. Meanwhile psychologist Dr Madeline Levine criticised 'helicopter' parenting - where parents 'hover' over their children's every move - for contributing to depression and anxiety.

Their conclusions appear to be reinforced by the U.S. therapist's book, which says children suffer from having too much attention. 'Families centred on children create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding, entitled children. We parents today are too quick to sacrifice our lives and our marriages for our kids.'

He added: 'A good marriage sets a great example for your children's future relationships, and that's win-win for the whole family. By killing ourselves to provide a perfect, trauma-free childhood for our children, we're wasting our energy. The greatest gift you can give your children is to have a fulfilling marriage yourself.'

Read more from the Daily Mail here