Public Humiliation: The beginning
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- Category: Blog Thursday - Euan
As I discussed last week I am test driving a slendertone.
This is not something I would normally do. Actually, scratch that, this is exactly the sort of thing I would do. It is a machine that exercises me without me having to do anything.
Theoretically at least, this is stomach crunches without the crunches, running without having to move, pole vaulting whilst staying on the ground and rugby from the safety of my sofa. This is me all over.
So let me update you on my public humiliation.
I agreed to use a slendertone as it is meant to be used (no stupid pranks and with a healthy lifestyle) for a month and I had to blog about it for the health fascists at Dadtalk. I am one week in and I have kept my side of the deal. I am not sure what their side of the deal is, maybe I get to keep this slendertone so it can live with my running shoes, golf clubs, soft ball gear, football, American football, bike, tennis racquet and badminton racquet in the loft?
As I wrote last week, I was genuinely nervous about using something that basically gives your muscles electric shocks. I was so nervous I even read through the instructions. So how does it work? You get this large belt made of material that you put three very sticky patches on. These patches conduct electricity from a battery to your stomach muscles causing them to expand and contract very quickly. You also have a small control panel with which to set the levels.
First time out I went carefully. So carefully that I couldn’t feel anything and so I increased the levels. I then sat for 30 mins with this thing slowly buzzing my gut. So. Freakin. Weird.
Second time out I had more confidence. So I sat down and started at a higher level. I nearly barfed so I lowered the level a touch. This felt more like I guessed it should.
Third time out I had this thing down. I started at a comfortable buzz level and increased it over the 30 mins.
So a week in and the six pack hasn’t appeared yet but my gut does feel like I have been doing sit-ups without having to do sit-ups. SCORE.
