Dadtalk

The Dad Guide to Starting School

It's that time of year again, September is almost upon us and the kids will be heading back to school. For some children this will be the beginning of their school journey or a change of school. As a Dad you may well feel a bit 'out of the loop' on the whole school thing as Mums tend to take the lead here so DadTalk have come up with a few frequently asked questions...

Children must enter full-time education by the term after their 5th birthday. In reality, many begin in Reception (also known as ‘year R’) before this date – starting dates are dependent on their birth date and your local council. It is worth knowing that a child born on the 1st September will be the oldest in their class & a child born on the 31st August will be the youngest. Prior to Reception, children begin Nursery when they are three and are entitled to up to 6 terms of free early education for 12.5 hours per week (38 weeks each year).

A good start would be to take time to ‘listen’ to their concerns. Perhaps arrange some one-to-one time with them & have a general chat about school & how they are feeling. Ask ‘open’ questions such as ‘what do you think you will be doing at school this year – how will it differ from last year’?

Boys may enjoy shopping for school uniform with Dad rather than Mum - girls may not be so keen but you can always ask!

Consider taking time off to take them to school and/or collect them during the first week. This task often falls to the Mum so it is a ‘special treat’ for them to see ‘Dad’.

For young children about to start school, why not play a game of ‘schools’. They could pretend to be the teacher; you are the pupil...great fun but also a great way to get an insight into how they are feeling about starting school. Also practise things like putting their shoes on,  packing their school bag, walking to school together (on a nice Sunday afternoon) – the more practise they get, the less daunting it will be.

Try to encourage good attitudes towards school – if you had bad experiences don’t project these onto your children. Think about how your experience could have been turned around and take action to ensure the same doesn’t happen to your children. Focus on positives from your school-time & talk to your children about these more than the negatives.

If problems do develop, contact the school – they should be there to help & most teachers are pleased to hear from parents when there are problems as they will also be looking for solutions.

First try to put yourself in her shoes – for the last 4-5 years she has been 24-7 with this child and now they are about to ‘leave’ for school. This is the start of a new era in her life (even more so if it is your youngest starting school) and she needs time to adjust. For some women there will be sense of relief & freedom but for most there is also a sense of loss. Take time to listen to her, talk through the changes & how she will manage them. She may be considering returning to work, enjoying some ‘me’ time, going slightly crazy in the house on her own all day, or having another baby...be there to listen & make these decisions together!

If you can, take time off during the first week of school to both be with your child (take and/or meet them from school) but also spend time with your wife. As your children go off to school & ‘move on’ this is also time for your relationship to develop as you will soon have a lot more time to spend together.

Support her in building relationships with other Mum’s – give her time to go out with them without the children & develop these friendships. They will be important both for her & for your children as they move through the school system.

A good start would be to take time to ‘listen’ to their concerns. Perhaps arrange some one-to-one time with them & have a general chat about school & how they are feeling. Ask ‘open’ questions such as ‘what do you think you will be doing at school this year – how will it differ from last year’?

Boys may enjoy shopping for school uniform with Dad rather than Mum - girls may not be so keen but you can always ask!

Consider taking time off to take them to school and/or collect them during the first week. This task often falls to the Mum so it is a ‘special treat’ for them to see ‘Dad’.

For young children about to start school, why not play a game of ‘schools’. They could pretend to be the teacher; you are the pupil...great fun but also a great way to get an insight into how they are feeling about starting school. Also practise things like putting their shoes on,  packing their school bag, walking to school together (on a nice Sunday afternoon) – the more practise they get, the less daunting it will be.

Try to encourage good attitudes towards school – if you had bad experiences don’t project these onto your children. Think about how your experience could have been turned around and take action to ensure the same doesn’t happen to your children. Focus on positives from your school-time & talk to your children about these more than the negatives.

If problems do develop, contact the school – they should be there to help & most teachers are pleased to hear from parents when there are problems as they will also be looking for solutions.

First try to put yourself in her shoes – for the last 4-5 years she has been 24-7 with this child and now they are about to ‘leave’ for school. This is the start of a new era in her life (even more so if it is your youngest starting school) and she needs time to adjust. For some women there will be sense of relief & freedom but for most there is also a sense of loss. Take time to listen to her, talk through the changes & how she will manage them. She may be considering returning to work, enjoying some ‘me’ time, going slightly crazy in the house on her own all day, or having another baby...be there to listen & make these decisions together!

If you can, take time off during the first week of school to both be with your child (take and/or meet them from school) but also spend time with your wife. As your children go off to school & ‘move on’ this is also time for your relationship to develop as you will soon have a lot more time to spend together.

Support her in building relationships with other Mum’s – give her time to go out with them without the children & develop these friendships. They will be important both for her & for your children as they move through the school system.

The concept of a ‘free education for all’ is somewhat stretched in the UK today. Costs are not always obvious but include:

• School uniform – most schools in the UK require a uniform from Reception upwards. Many of the basics can be purchased cheaply from most supermarkets or High Street shops but you may also need to purchase official school uniform pieces with the school logo e.g. polo shirts, jumpers, & blazers. In total, expect to pay something over £50+ per child (each year) – and the bigger they get, the more it will cost! Schools will also require a PE kit – this includes the obvious shorts & PE top but will become more expensive as they get older & you need football boots & sometimes multiple pairs of trainers (indoor, outdoor, special surfaces).
• School shoes - although these can now be purchased cheaply, as your child will be wearing them for the next year it is often worth investing in a good quality pair (expect to pay £30-40 for good leather shoes).
• Dinners – if you are in receipt of benefits, school dinners are free. If not, expect to pay around £1.70 per day, or start making packed lunches. Peer pressure tends to come into play here, if your children’s friends have school dinners you will find they want them.
• Colouring pencils – as children progress through school, they will be required to supply their own stationary items such as pencils, pens, protractors, calculators etc. For some reason these seem to need replacing each year so a trip to the local stationary store during summer holidays is almost compulsory.
• Transport – depending on where you live & whether your children go to the local catchment school, you may have to cover the cost of transport to school. If unsure, your local Council will have a ‘school transport’ department who can help with your queries.
• School trips – these can be expensive – ranging from around £20 for a day trip up to hundreds of pounds for activity camps.
• Fundraising – most schools require additional funds to cover even ‘basic’ needs. YOU are the main source of these funds! There will be raffles, fun days, fairs, Christmas bazaars & more.
• School photos – expect to receive individual, family group & class photos, it is up to you whether you pay for these but they are a good record of your children’s time at school.
• Music lessons – many schools make provision for instrument lessons – but you will have to opt into these & be prepared to pay for them – around £100 per term plus instrument costs.
• Visits/special days – from time to time the school may have a ‘special day’ where a local author or workshop comes into the school. ‘Voluntary’ payments range from £2-5 for these.
• After school clubs – as your children develop they/you may want to expand their education to include clubs like swimming, Judo, gymnastics, dance etc. Costs vary widely & it will be up to you to decide how many activities your children can have each week.

Yes! Yes! Yes! This is what the research tells us:

• English fathers’ involvement with their children (at ages 7 and 11) correlates with better national examination performance at age 16 (Lewis et al, 1982).
• A significant relationship is found between positive father engagement at age 6, and IQ and educational achievement at age 7 (Gottfried et al, 1988).
• Low paternal interest in children’s education has a stronger negative impact on children’s lack of qualifications than contact with the police, poverty, family type, social class, housing tenure and child’s personality (Blanden, 2006).

 So do get involved - you do matter & will make a difference to your child’s future.