DadTalk

Handling Homework Horrors

Homework can be a positive learning experience that gives parents the opportunity to be involved in their children's education

The minute the kids get in from school, the battle begins. Have you got any homework? When are you going to turn that telly off and get on with it? How can you concentrate with that music on? Have you finished it yet? This is terrible; you’ve got to redo it... And so 10 sums, a 1000-word essay or 15 science questions manage to monopolise the whole evening, leaving parents and children exhausted, stressed and hating the ‘H’ word.

You don’t want to be greeted with this atmosphere when you get home from work, and the day shouldn’t end like this for the kids. Homework can be a positive learning experience that gives parents the opportunity to be involved in their children’s education, find out what they’re learning at school, understand their strengths - and identify where they’re having problems.

Showing an interest in their work and talking to them about it helps them to learn. Plus homework teaches them about responsibility, organisation and time management; helps them build on what they’ve learned at school and deal with frustrations and difficulties; and encourages independent learning. But for them (and us) to get the most out of their homework, some ground rules need to be established.

We might think they should tackle their homework as soon as they get in from school, so they can enjoy the rest of the evening - but if we bring home some marking or a board report to finish, do we breeze through the front door after a day’s work and immediately fire up the laptop? Just as we require a reviving cuppa and half-hour’s mindless TV before we start again, so our kids might need a bit of chill time after a day’s schooling watching CBBC, listening to music, jumping on the trampoline or chatting on MSN.

Plus, it’s been a long time since lunch and their energy levels are likely to be low so perhaps they could leave their homework until after tea, or have an energy-boosting snack, such as a milkshake, peanut butter on toast, banana or bowl of cereal if your family eats later.

Get your children’s input into when they want to set their homework time. It may be just on certain nights, for 30 minutes or an hour, and you’ll probably need to be flexible to accommodate other extra-curricular activities, but once you’ve agreed a plan together, stick with it. If homework time clashes with a favourite TV programme, record it and let them watch it later, or if they plea to go out on a ‘homework night’; ask how they are going to rearrange things to get their work done beforehand. It’s amazing how soon they’ll pull their finger out when they really want something!

And if they don’t have any homework to do, they could still utilise this set-aside time for online educational and learning activities, such as www.mymaths.co.uk or www.channel4learning.com/apps/homeworkhigh; to revise recent or past topics; to read quietly or out loud to you; or to tidy their room, school bag or help you with some household chores.

During these homework times, you might let younger children watch TV or use the Wii so that it’s available to your older children when they’ve completed their homework - or you could encourage them to do some quieter activities such as drawing or playing with their toys. Whatever suits your household.

Weekend homework sessions may need to be negotiated on a week by week basis, depending on what else is organised, but don’t let them leave it all until Sunday evening.

As well as deciding when they do their homework, your children may have preferences about where they work, so discuss it with them. It may be at a desk in their bedroom or the dining room table, but always try to ensure that distractions are kept to a minimum. They can’t concentrate properly if the TV’s on in the same room or if other family members are trooping in and out.

If they’re writing or drawing, make sure they have a flat surface to work on, an upright chair to sit at and a good light source. Neat work simply cannot be produced while lying on a bed or sprawled on a sofa.

They may prefer to be alone or they may like company, either working with friends or siblings, or to sit in the same room as you while you’re reading the paper.

Music is another issue that you need to negotiate. Some parents don’t tolerate it; others are more flexible. Decide with your child what works for your family.

How much, as a parent, do you get involved in your kid’s homework? On the one hand, it’s a great way to see what they’re studying, what level they’re operating at and how they approach their work. On the other, you don’t want to interfere, take over and undermine their learning process.

• Try talking about what they’ve been learning over tea or in the car and make sure you listen - it’s a great way to help them communicate better.
• If they need your guidance, try to be positive and see homework as an opportunity to bond with your son or daughter. Obviously, snuggling up with a younger child on the sofa while they read to you for five minutes may be more appealing than tackling quadratic equations with a moody teenager, but giving your time, support and encouragement shows your children you care.
• When they’ve finished their homework, ask them if they’d like you to look at it. If they choose to involve you, don’t start with a negative comment or list of criticisms but find something positive to say - or they won’t want to show you again.
• If you spot any spelling mistakes or incorrect answers, you could encourage them to check it again. You can give them some pointers, especially if they’re tired and getting frustrated, but don’t just tell them the right answer - it’s their work, not yours, that counts.
• If the work’s really untidy or they’ve made a major mistake, encourage them to redo it, explaining why presentation is important.
• Hysteria from your kids about homework that’s “too hard” requires a firm but patient hand. Sit down with them, look at the question(s), then find out what they understand about the topic, and what they don’t. Above all, try to remain calm and positive. Go through each question and praise your son or daughter when they answer correctly, encourage them to expand on an answer if it’s partly right, and if they haven’t got a clue, help them research in their school books or online - but don’t just offer the answer.
• Encourage them to break down bigger projects into sections and build on each of those. Again, you can help them trawl the internet for information and supplementary pictures, but let them do the work. And discourage them from simply copying down the information but talk about the key facts, which they should then write in their own words.
• Make it fun, suggest they’re the teacher and you’re in their class, and get them to teach you what they’ve learned.
• If your work commitments don’t allow you to help out with homework during the week, make an effort to be on hand at weekends. It’s much better for your children if both parents support them with their studies.

When exams are approaching, it can be stressful for both pupil and parent, and it’s vital to keep the stress to a minimum for them. Help your child draw up a revision timetable establishing times, subjects and goals. Include a checklist so they can tick off what they’ve covered and monitor their progress. If they start falling behind schedule, don’t nag but encourage and help them get back on track. Include small rewards at different stages when certain targets have been met - and plan a bigger treat to look forward to when the exams are done.

When they’re revising, ensure they have the equipment they need and are not disrupted. Encourage them to take short breaks during concentrated periods of study to play some sport, chat with a friend or watch a bit of TV.

They may benefit from using one of the published Revision guides (see what the school recommends), revision downloads available from www.mychild.co.uk or online revision resources at www.bbc.co.uk/schools/bitesize. Taking time to test your child on their project folders or revision notes will help indicate their strong and weak points, but keep it positive and fun. Remember some areas they weren’t sure of and test them periodically at mealtimes or when you’re out and about.

To avoid a massive cramming session just before the exam period, encourage your kids to revisit topics from time to time in the months beforehand, perhaps on a night when they’ve got no homework or during school holidays. This should keep the information fresh in their mind and will only need topping up nearer the exam date.

If they’re really struggling with certain areas or subjects, contact the school and see if their teacher can give them some extra help.

1. On journeys test them on times tables, capital cities or scientific formulas. Challenge them to complete the task before you reach the next town/roundabout/stop/junction.
2. Give them the opening line of a story and get them to finish it, either verbally or writing it down. You could share it among the family so you each add one line in turn.
3. Look for ways for them to utilise their maths skills such as calculating multiples round the supermarket, estimating materials for diy projects or doubling up ingredients for a recipe. And when you’re travelling somewhere, let them look at the bus or train timetable - or work out your estimated time of arrival if you’re in the car.
4. Challenge them to a competition on online educational games or revision topics.
5. On a rainy Sunday afternoon, snuggle down in the lounge with a good book and a bowl of popcorn and get the family to all take turns to read a paragraph or page.
6. Hold a family quiz night with the children setting some questions for the adults or play games that increase their general knowledge such as Millionaire or Trivial Pursuit, or that heighten their logical and creative thought processes such as Cranium or Pictionary.
7. Get them involved in writing and designing invitations, posters or cards.
8. Discuss things that are in the news, whether it’s celebrity gossip or world events, find out what they know and chat about their views to help them develop their ideas.
9. Going on holiday? Involve them in researching destinations, comparing board and prices, flight times, suitable dates, planning a budget etc. If you travel abroad, make an effort to learn and use the language for a few key phrases and words.
10. Find out what they’re studying and plan a family day out to support that subject - to the Science Museum, a Norman castle, the Globe theatre or an unusual rock formation, for example.