Dadtalk

Fathering Sons

Father and son, raising boys, fathering and discipline

I remember the first time I held Keitaro my first born son. He was a pink bundle of flesh, very fragile. I kept asking myself, “Am I ready for this? Can I father you?” I wished for strength and wisdom that day. When Keevan my second born son was born, Keitaro was 2 years old. They are now 4 and 2 years old. And I love them both to bits.

Having two sons is not easy. There seems to be an over abundance of testosterone most of the time. The two of them seem to love grabbing something only when it’s apparent that the other has taken it, then Keevan will bite and the older will push with his feet. Then you will have two sirens screaming.

That is when Daddy raises his voice or just grabs the little one. I have to make sure that both of them are guided and corrected. Both of them should know that some things are wrong regardless of who is older or younger. Keevan’s bites get him a talking to as much as Keitaro’s kicks.

There is a proverb that says rats bite then blow on the bite so that the one who is bitten should not feel the pain immediately. So daddy scolds then hugs. And the offender is told to apologise.

I get scared sometimes. I keep asking myself what my father was thinking and doing when I was my sons’ ages. And I hope I repeat none of my father’s mistakes but do not discard his strengths. What legacy will I leave them? A legacy of what values and guiding principles? The world is growing darker, morality and spirituality is becoming subjective, what will help them be the best human beings they can ever be?

I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. They are the light of my life. They are my sons and I am their father.