Dadtalk

Dad Tool: Staying Confident

Being a Dad is quite possibly the most challenging thing you will ever do. There are times when we all take a knock to our self-confidence and wonder if we are doing it ‘right’ or if we will ever be ‘good enough’. Here are a few tips to help you stay confident and able to see yourself as the best Dad your kids will ever have.

• Get out of the ‘school showers’ mentality and stop comparing yourself with others.
  Do you remember that feeling... all stripped down after a game of footie in the boys shower room...you glance across to your left...to your right...did you feel somewhat deflated when you come up short? That same feeling can creep in when you look at other Dads who seem to have taken on the ‘SuperDad’ job description and always seem to get it right (reality check: just as size doesn’t really matter, so you will also find there is no such thing as a SuperDad - we all make mistakes.)
• Know your limits - don’t be put off from getting advice and support, it doesn’t make you less of a man.
  It actually makes you MORE of a man! A real man will ask for help because he knows he can and will do better - knowledge is power, so if you don’t have the answer to everything, ASK the question, and SEEK support (the DadTalk forum is a great place to ask those anonymous). Also check out the DadTalk article on ‘Dumb Dad Questions’.
• You are not your father - in Star Wars did Luke Skywalker turn into Darth Vader?
  Becoming a Dad will make you reflect on your own father and all that he did or didn’t do. Just remember you are your own person & you CAN do things differently. You call the shots now: you can be an involved Dad, you can be home to do bath & bedtime, you can be there for Saturday football, you can applaud their successes and you can be there to pick them up when they fall. It is all up to you...
• Be confident in your discipline and pick your battles, it’s a marathon not a sprint.
  There is sadly no ‘fix-it-all-one-stop-solution’ when it comes to discipline. We are all making it up as we go along, we all make mistakes and we all struggle at times to know what to do. Check out the Toolbox Behaviour Management section and be ready to adapt as your kids get older or new situations arise.
• Give yourself regular YOU time - all work and no play makes daddy Mr Grumpy!
  No one likes be around Mr Grumpy (and Mrs Grumpy isn’t much fun either so make sure she gets some time out too!) It may take some effort to find something that gives you that time out in the chaos and busyness of family life - for some guys it is exercise (gym, run, football club etc), others enjoy having a shed (important man space with tools & stuff), and for others it is a quiet pint at the local pub with a couple of mates. Whatever ticks your box, come to an agreement with the Mrs and make sure you get some time to play.

Finally, we want to challenge you to sign up to the Dad:Pledge - you can make a choice to be there for your children always: emotionally, physically and morally. The Pledge first helps to remind you of your role and the choice you have made to be a Dad, secondly the pledge is here to support you in living out that declaration. Through a series of themed email tips, we will challenge your thinking and give you access to information and ideas that help you live out being ‘Dad’ each step of the way.