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Why do Dads matter to sons?
I posed this question to my ten year old son the other day:
‘What do Dads do for sons that is different to Mums?
With a cheeky grin, he replied : “they are someone to be silly with cause Mums usually aren’t very silly?”
Which I guess is the answer in a nutshell. We have a tendancy to be the slightly ’silly’ one, the rough & tumble, tickle until you scream like a girl, water fights, lets make a mess and the rest. What would a boy do without all that fun?
My son is different to my daughters, they don’t seem to like me sitting on them, farting around them, wrestling & generally messing around – all that silly stuff. What can Dads do with their sons.
Quick tips for Dads & sons
- Many boys today suffer from ‘father-hunger’ – they are craving time with ‘Dad’ doing ‘man-stuff’ – it is up to you to satisfy this need! Talk to your son – what does he like to do with you?
- DIY – boys want to learn how to change a lightbulb, fix a leaky tap, put up bookshelves. Get them involved, make it a ‘project’ – if you are really daring, ask your wife/partner for a list of ‘Man jobs’ to do with your son!
- Common interests – if you are into cars, football, rugby – chances are your son will be into them too (he will model your interests) – foster this & hang out together.
- All boys crave approval – let you son know when he does a great job – or is just great fun to be around – let him know he is a fantastic son – actually say the words (they need to hear it).
- Get to know his friends, as a teenager, he is going to spend a lot of time with them - You need to know who they are.
- Introduce your son to your ‘mates’ – let him see how men hang out, give him alternate role models (you will not always be ‘No. 1’ in his life so give him some good alternatives!)
- Many boys struggle with the standard school ‘set-up’ – if your son is finding school difficult, get involved – try find out what the issues are and what you can do to help him.
- Set boundaries – make sure he knows what is acceptable and the consequences if he pushes those boundaries. Show him how a Man should treat a Woman (with respect, love & lots of ‘you look lovely tonight’).
- Someone needs to talk to him about puberty, sex, pornography, contraception – if it isn’t you, it will be mates, school, TV, internet. What values/beliefs do you want to pass on to him – if you don’t open this dialogue he will base his values on what the ‘world’ says is ok – is that ok with you?
