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Why do Dads matter to daughters?
You are faced with this new baby daughter – complete with ‘girl bits’ – what do you do? Where do you fit in? Should you change a ‘girl’ nappy or is there something weird in that? What about when they grow up – teenage girls – periods, puberty, breasts, mood swings, boyfriends – can you leave it all to ‘Mum’ or do you have a role in raising your daughter?
The simple answer is yes – you do matter to your daughter. You are her role model – ‘what a man should be’, ‘how a man should treat a woman’ – this is a huge role.
- It will be up to you to demonstrate that raising children is a shared job – Mum & Dad.
- It will be up to you to tell her she is beautiful, that she has value, and that you love her just as she is.
- It will be up to you to tell her (or kindly suggest) that the skirt she is wearing is too short & unless she wants all the men in the room to ogle her chest she needs to do up another button.
- It will be up to you to meet her new boyfriends & make sure they are clear on the ‘rules’ for dating your daughter.
Quick tips
- Daughter dates – put aside some time to spend some one-on-one time with your daughter. Take her somewhere special (the park, for ice-cream, a movie), listen to what is going on in her world.
- Cultivate shared activities & hobbies – find something the two of you are interested in e.g. sports, art, movies, music – then make a point of sharing these together.
- Buy her clothes – there will come a time when ‘Dad’s taste’ is just not up to it, but until then, treat her with a special outfit chosen by you.
- Get to know her friends, you may not always like them but remember they are important to her. As a teenager, she is likely to spend more time with them & talk to them more than she will be talking to you! You need to know who they are.
- Set boundaries – make sure she knows what is acceptable and the consequences if she pushes those boundaries.
- Think ahead – always be prepared. What do you think about make-up on pre-teens? At what age can she go out for a night with friends? Who is going to talk about puberty and sex with her – when?
- Pick your battles – some things are just not worth the fight!
