Communication

Research seems to indicate that when teenagers feel good about the way they communicate with their parents they're less likely to smoke, drink, use drugs and have early, unprotected sex. In fact, one of the most important reasons teens choose not to use alcohol and drugs is because they don't want to jeopardize their relationship with their parents!

OK, so it's important to continue to communicate in a positive, open way, even with an emotionally prickly teen. But how?

Communication with Teenagers is …

• More about listening than talking.
• More about asking questions than giving answers.
• About helping them to form sound values and make responsible decisions in response to the facts.
• About finding common ground.
• About how we behave – what we do communicates far more than anything we say.

If you do get the opportunity to talk

• Communicate little and often.
• Don’t start a war of words. "You’re wrong, I'm right" they will switch off. Instead invite them to dialogue with you.
• Respect the view they bring and then calmly share your own viewpoint. Offer it as 'food for thought' not the definitive answer! If nothing else they will be so shocked, it will buy you some thinking time!
• Don’t just ban things! If you do not want your child to do something, be able to offer a sensible and well thought out reason.