Behaviour Management for Dads

Positive Discipline – You’re asking for it!

The key to discipline is the word ‘positive’.

If you see a sign saying ‘Keep of the grass’ what do you instinctively want to do? 

You know those flashing speed signs – don’t you just love to see them light up?

Yep, we’re all just children at heart. 

Ok you don’t believe me? Try this:

“Don’t think of a Pink Elephant!” Now what are you thinking of?  A pink elephant, right?

• Instead of telling children what they mustn’t do tell them what behaviour you do want. Instead of ‘Don’t run off’ try ‘stay close to me please’ (even children appreciate politeness – but that’s another topic!) Instead of ‘Stop shouting’, try ‘use your quiet voice’.
• Beware of self- fulfilling prophecies – instead of ‘You’ll fall’, try ‘take care – hold tight’
• Agree family rules and stick to them. Select no more than five really important things and agree them at a family meeting. Attach appropriate rewards and penalties for all the children and adults in the family. Change the rules by agreement once they are well-established habits or have become irrelevant. Examples include:

• We play kindly together
• We stay at the table until everyone has finished eating
• Children are in bed with lights off by ?o’clock.
• Homework is done before tea.

• Notice when they get it right and praise them for it. Tell them often about their pleasing character traits e.g.
• ‘I love it when you’re kind.’
• ‘You’re great fun to be around.’
• ‘That was a thoughtful thing to do.’
• ‘I admire your patience.’
• ‘You tried really hard when it was difficult – well done!’
• ‘Thank you for waiting so quietly.’
• ‘You’re getting really good at… taking turns, or sharing your toys etc.’

 

• If it is safe to do so ignore irritating behaviour and take lots of notice of pleasing behaviour. Remember - What you pay attention to is what you get more of!
• Offer a choice when there is one.
• ‘You have to wear a sweater today, do you want the blue one or the green one?’
• ‘We need to tidy the toys away. Will you help me before or after tea?’

•  ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ is a particularly good maxim when dealing with pre-teens and teenagers.  According to your family values decide what really matters and focus your disciplining energies accordingly. If you don’t, you’ll be exhausted from constant correction, and your kids will loathe your nagging and moaning.