A father thinks out loud – Raising teenagers

Controlling our actions

Are we dads angry because they won’t listen to us or angry because we remember what we were like when we were their age? We forget. In the process, we lose them, ourselves, and wallow in loneliness. Why? We clam up. We get jealous of mums. Mums sometimes have special relationships with their teenagers, especially their sons. Mums can see us in their sons as they nurture parts of ourselves we try to hide. When dads try to nurture ‘our’ way, we get criticized for being wimps, spineless, whipped. Know what I mean? "Rebel Without a cause" gives one of the most endemic examples of a weak dad trying to control his son. And that’s when we start to lose them. Not when we try to control them, but when we fail to control our actions, or lose sight of the moment.