I am from Gibraltar but i have been living with my english girlfriend in London for two years now. In total I have been 4 years in this relationship. Now i have a 12 week old baby daughter. My problem is that I just can not accept my girlfriends sister to be involved as an aunty to my daughter because she has mental issues and self harms herself, even though she says she will not do it again. My girlfriend has taken this very bad and has not talked to me for two days. If this continues, I will take my daughter back to Gibraltar with me. I am not married but am on the babys birth certificate. Do I require to sign any other forms to have equal rights over my baby? Should I give my sister in law a leverway? What should i do?

Hi

One of the things you have to remember , is that self harmers do not harm others - they hate themselves not the world.

I have a sister who is Bipolar and up until 7 years ago was living in a "mental" hospital from the age of 19 (she was 34 when released) , she is now successfully living in the "outside" world, has a job , is in a relationship and does not self harm any more.

All stages of her illness I would have trusted her with my children, she was one of the most natural child carers I know - there is nothing to hate in children, they love you unconditionally unless proved otherwise - she only hated herself.

Give your sister-in-law a chance, this might actually help her in the long run.

You have to realise that family is very important to a new mum, and that includes the extended family of brothers, sisters & parents.

Do not take your daughter away, this would be harmful to your partner, you and most of all your daughter.

The biological mother of a child, and the biological father if married to the mother at the time of birth, automatically gain parental responsibility. Since 1 December 2003, a non-married father registered on the child’s birth certificate will also automatically gain parental responsibility. But this does not give one parent the moral right to take a baby away from it's other parent.

Talk and listen to your partner, give your sister-in-law a chance.

I hope t works out.

mags

Thank you very much, and yes you have helped me out.

I'm glad mags advice was of help daveit.

I hope you and your girlfriends relationship is back on track again.

I hope you keep coming back to the forum as your experiences might help another Dad.



Gooner